Comedy Quotes

Funny quotes, jokes, citations and sayings of worlds most famous stand-up comedians. Follow and visit this blog for daily laughs.
I drew the duck blue because I’ve never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.-Comedian Adam Sandler

I drew the duck blue because I’ve never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.
-
Comedian Adam Sandler

One day in the shower,  				you figure it out. It’s a special day in a man’s life. I was like, ‘Oh, I found me a hobby.’-Adam Ferrara

One day in the shower, you figure it out. It’s a special day in a man’s life. I was like, ‘Oh, I found me a hobby.’
-
Adam Ferrara

Every time you come in from cheating on someone, they’ll just whip out the most adorable term of endearment. Like, they’ll wake up, bright and early, sleep in their eyes and say: “Hey, perfect.”-Comedian Dane Cook

Every time you come in from cheating on someone, they’ll just whip out the most adorable term of endearment. Like, they’ll wake up, bright and early, sleep in their eyes and say: “Hey, perfect.”
-
Comedian Dane Cook

What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!-Adam Ferrara quotes

What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
-
Adam Ferrara quotes

I’m at a very frustrating point in my career because I’m not a millionaire. Like, people assume because you’re in movies or TV, you’re rich. I’m not rich, but I’m far from broke. I’m what you call a ‘thousandaire.’-Aries Spears quotes

I’m at a very frustrating point in my career because I’m not a millionaire. Like, people assume because you’re in movies or TV, you’re rich. I’m not rich, but I’m far from broke. I’m what you call a ‘thousandaire.’
-
Aries Spears quotes